Monday, July 07, 2008

Jacob's 2nd Birthday Today

Jacob,

My boy.

We miss you so much. We still talk about you, we still wish you were here, especially now that your sister Nora is here with us. Her laugh and her way about her makes us wonder even more about what you would have been like if you'd been born healthy.

I can go back to that hospital and that day in a flash. I remember holding you, and just about every tear I've shed on that day and since.

I hold on tight to the dream I had of you that you are fine, in heaven, whole, and beautiful.

And even though this was my "first" Mother's Day for me in the eyes of many, I know I've had many more before that. I just finally got my earth girl this year to celebrate with.

And celebrate is what we have to do.

We wish things were different, but they're not. In the end we have to accept that and live life as fully as possible. Your sister Nora hears your name and will grow up knowing about you and that you touched our lives.

I know that while it might make you feel good to know we miss you, you would not want your Dad or me or anyone else to use your loss as a reason to stop living or not live life to its fullest. So that's what we'll do.

We love you Jacob. We always will.

You're in our hearts and minds forever, precious boy.

Mommy

4 comments:

Tammy said...

Remembering Jacob with you... Many, many hugs...

Shiela Lee said...

Hugs and more hugs - I'm sorry for the sadness that you endure - but not for the wonderful memory that is Jacob...he has blessed so many lives...thank you for sharing him with us.

**G** said...

Thinking of you and your lovely family today... (((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

Holding you and Jacob in our hearts today...and everyday. Life would not be the same today without having had the babies that we have lost and that touched our lives so deeply and personally. He is surely a guardian angle over you all.
I am glad to hear that his name is spoken, that he 'lives' through you and that Nora will know she had a big brother. Somehow, I believe our little ones that are still here with us have a connection beyond what we may realize with their siblings. I like to think Jacob gave Nora the 'two thumbs up' in reference to you guys...and here she came. She certainly shines..and I think her brother shines on through her.
The picture of his tiny, tender feet bring back a lot for me. Tears, memories of both your and my losses. It is all still very accessible.Very easy to not only remember, but feel again. Like a flash back.
So....happy birthday Jacob. I still shed tears for you, and your Mommy and Daddy. We all wish you could be here with all of us. We know you are shining on. Our lives are all richer having known you.

Love you,
Susan, Doug and Louis

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