Tuesday, September 11, 2007

"Stay Boring, Julie"

It's Day 30 of my incarceration in this hospital. Yeah, some days just feel like incarceration, so I'm telling it like it is.

There is no escaping it today. No walking in the prison yard, no visitors. I have to stay put, and I am willing to bet if I so much as stuck my head out in the hall, it would be told to get back in bed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's all good for me and the baby. But some days...

On the brighter side, I had a fourth day and night in a row with no bleeding, so that's good.

On the not-so-brighter side, last night I had a mini-meltdown over the fact that we are not nearly prepared to take a baby home, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Well, almost nothing.

Most people when they have normal babies under normal circumstances, get all this time to prepare. They pick out clothes, diapering "systems" and baby furniture, and get to put it all into place.

Brian was sort of relieved that I was freaking out a bit, because that means movement. He asked me a few weeks ago, early (in the sentencing phase when we weren't sure I'd be on the inside lo these many weeks) if he should get a car seat installed. I said "nah, we'll have plenty of time for that when she's out and spending time in the NICU".

Well, here we are approaching 34 weeks, and it's very possible she won't have much time if any to speak of in the NICU. She could conceivably go home with us when I get out several days after my c-section.

So, I asked my Mom to bring me her clothes that my friend Delois gave me so I can go through them here. I need the box o' baby stuff I bought before getting in here because aside from some Pampers, I can't remember what I bought.

I asked Brian if he'd go down to the house on Sunday and get the baby bed stuff set up, and see about getting a dresser in the house so we can put her clothes away and figure out where the changing table we don't have yet will go. I still need to see what we have to change those infinite dipes.

I guess I was able to put this off for a pretty long time, but suddenly, it feels like it's going to happen RIGHT NOW and we need to be prepared. Brian said last night that he realized maybe the reason I just didn't want to get ready any sooner was because we've always had that feeling of "let's see if it works out"...and now we're at the point where it not only looks like it will, but we need to do something about it.

So we are.

Dr. A just came in and said he had nothing new to say to me.

"You got nothin?" I asked.

"Nope," he said. "Just stay boring, Julie."

Mmmm hmmm. That's me!

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