I've officially started looking for work.
It's so hard to know what to apply for, not knowing how stable or unstable Brian's work is going to be in the coming weeks/months.
If he got laid off, I'd have to look for full time work immediately, but if he doesn't, then I would do better looking for something to do evenings and weekends so we can minimize or even eliminate the need for a babysitter.
Ah, uncertainty. Like most people I'm horrible at tolerating it. And I don't think it's a lot to ask out of life than to know where your next paycheck is coming from, or that it's coming at all.
But as it is, we don't know, and it's not anybody's fault except the sucky economy having its effects on Brian's company's business. We just have to wait and see.
So I've gone out an applied for some day jobs I would love, and some night jobs I could tolerate. I even sent my application in for a manager's job at a local bowling alley, sort of as a joke to myself. I thought "Hmm, now I'd have access to those bowling shoes I always thought were cool."
And THAT is something I haven't done before. I already hear bowling pins cracking and falling and giving me a headache.
I have worked in a newspaper most of my life, but within that industry, I have always moved up and around. I've had one job I kept for 9 years, and only because it paid so well and I worked with people who helped make it fun.
Unfortunately, the newspaper business is all but dying. It's hard to see it happening, and even harder to want to go back to the business, knowing its nearly inevitable future.
Still, I applied for a couple of jobs at the paper. I'd like to say I've moved on, but I still love the business and can't help but want to be part of an institution that serves its communities as only newspapers do.
I would love to find a more fun, stable job that would challenge me and keep me motivated to learning more, and doing more, while paying me a living wage. I don't think that's a lot to ask for either, although I know some people who would disagree with me. I've been told that most people hate their jobs, and I say if you do, then you need to do whatever you can to move out of that and into something else.
It's not that you have to destabilize your family if you have one.
I guess I just see this next job as an opportunity to find something to do that will let me spend time with my daughter and still raise her, while bringing some money in to help out. Not very many people can afford to live on one income, and we're no different.
So, here we go!