What Weight Gain?

It's been 17 days since my hospitalization, and this nurse rolls in a scale every Sunday morning. It's not nearly as pleasant as a latte, but it sure wakes me up.

I love weighing in. It's amazing how big I've gotten and if this baby went to term, the mind reels as to how big I could get before this pregnancy is over.

I laugh when I watch the Weight Watchers commercial with Jenny McCarthy, who says "When I came home from the hospital, I was hoping I'd be bringing home a 60 lb. baby..."

After two weeks of weighing in, the scale was way too nice to me compared to previous weigh-ins at the OB/GYN office visits, so it didn't appear that I'd really gained much if anything. So yesterday my nurse came by and she said some nutritionist was "concerned you aren't eating enough because she hasn't gained any weight since she got here."

Which really isn't true, but it made me laugh. Out loud. Hard.

Are they trying to send me into preterm labor?

The amount of chocolate I've been eating, much less the 3 squares a day they bring me, would easily sustain this pregnancy. And maybe someone else's as well.

My Mom came back from a trip to Ashland Oregon's Shakespeare Festival with a box, and I thought "Oh how sweet, she brought something for the baby."

But no, it was this mug that says it all: "Gimme some chocolate and no one gets hurt."

There comes a point around 6 months of pregnancy where you really stop caring (or I would argue that you should stop caring if you still do) about how much you weigh.

I have outgrown most of the maternity pants I had bought at about 4-5 months, thinking I would NEVER be able to fill them up. I am now into two pairs of JC Penney sweats that are a size 3X and therefore will fit me until the End of Time and fortunately have a drawstring for afterwards.

But then I finally figured out what happened with my scale and the poor, misinformed nutritionist.

When I left Denver, I weighed in one last time at the end of June. When I came to Eugene's OB/GYN office, the cruel scale said that in just a few weeks I had gained 20 lbs. more than Denver.

When I was hospitalized a few weeks after that, I reported my weight since they didn't weigh me (it was Monday so I guess they don't make you weigh in). So I said something around the Oregon weight, but I did say it was a bit "generous".

Well, sure enough, they brought a MUCH nicer scale in on these Sundays, which weighed me much more kindly. So the nutritionist thought I was losing weight instead of gaining!

Doh!

Mystery solved.

Now, bring me some more Dove Chocolates and no one gets hurt.