All The If's...

If I make it to full term -- 40 weeks -- I only have 50 days left in this pregnancy.

I have absolutely no expectations of that, in fact it's impossible, since no doctor will let me go past 36-37 weeks max.

If I make it to what the doctors WANT me to make it to -- 36 weeks -- I have 21 days.

If I make it as far as I think I will, I have maybe 1-2 more weeks, closer to 34-35 weeks.

If we even make it into next week, our baby will weigh somewhere near 5 lbs.

I've just had too much bleeding this past week to think I'll go much further. I believe it will keep going, and no one here is arguing with me. It's what previas do.

Dr. P. stopped by today. He's my favorite among the Perinatologists because he has a sense of humor, but also tells it like it is. He's a transplant from Denver too, so he automatically gets points with us.

He told me today that now that we're at 33 weeks, they are "a lot less tolerant" of bleeds, since the baby's cooked enough they don't have to go crazy trying to keep me pregnant anymore.

I know that might sound strange, but after 27 days in the hole here, it's oddly comforting.

And for those of you who think I'm being a good sport about all this, I willfully admit that I'm sick of staring at these four walls, and have dreams of escaping this place by dressing up in my husband's clothes and trying to Commando Crawl out of here just long enough to go to the Starbucks up the street, order my own latte the way I like it, and read a newspaper or book in an oversized chair with armrests I can eat a meal off of.

If only for a few minutes...