Monday, October 15, 2007

Four Weeks Ago Today...

Four weeks ago today, we got our miracle baby girl.

After three miscarriages and the loss of our baby boy Jacob last year, I cannot begin to describe the sheer terror I felt when I was wheeled into the operating room for my emergency c-section just four weeks ago.

Friday I took the breast pump back to Providence St. Vincent's where we had Nora. It was so strange to go back to the "scene of the crime", in that I felt like Rip Van Winkle -- in a time warp of some kind -- to go to the hospital where all the excitement, waiting, and ultimate birth of our daughter happened.

It was so intense -- to walk through the hospital, see the guest housing across the street where we stayed -- remembering all we went through to have our girl just weeks after moving here from Colorado.

As you can imagine, I was sure something would be wrong at the last minute. I was sure that she would have a birth defect that had passed under the ultrasound radar, or that something would go wrong with me in surgery and one of us would somehow not make it through ok.

My fears weren't unfounded. No one could possibly have reassured me that "everything would be fine" until I saw her. Until I could touch her and count her fingers and toes.

I held still for the anesthesiologist to put in the spinal block, and I shook the rest of the time.

I cried.


The poor nurses had no idea, so they tried to reassure me. Yeah, I said. Good luck.

My favorite Dr. Abel invited himself into the surgery that Dr. MP was doing, and he came over the blue wall a couple of times to tell me everything was going fine.

Within a few minutes, my girl was out, screaming. Oh what a wonderful sound to hear her crying!

They showed her to me for just a second, and then she was gone to the NICU, where they got her on a ventilator thing, made sure she was ok, and within minutes, Brian was able to come back to me and tell me she was fine.

She was fine!

Finally, we had a baby who would make it.

I cried some more, this time tears of joy instead of fear.

This picture is from when I held her for the first time. As you can see, the deliriousness of my joy can't be missed, and you might even see the tears on my face.

The last two are of me with her last night, wearing the Broncos onesie she's grown into.

It's been such a crazy four weeks!

She's healthy, she's fine, and she's growing so fast.

There's so many things about her personality that are already showing through.

She hates having her diaper changed and sleeping alone.
She likes eating every three hours, and will cuddle withy anyone with two arms and a gentle touch.

She snuggles, snorfs, harumphs and eh-eh's her way through the whole day, whether she's eating, sleeping, or just staring at you.

And she's working on her third chin, while I work on getting rid of mine.

What a joy she is!


annie said...

What an awesome post. I have tears of joy for you all over again.

Happy Four Weeks Sweet Nora and Mommy!


gailpet said...

You have a way with words... I can totally feel your emotion and joy with your blog. Keep enjoying every minute with your precious little girl, as I KNOW you are!!!

Tammy said...

I am crying. With you in joy, for you because the fear you describe is palpable. That feeling of finally seeing her and knowing she is fine and holding her and knowing she is all yours from that minute forward must have been amazing, simply amazing for you. THere is nothing but joy in my heart for you!!!! I've said it so many times already but Jules, I am just so thrilled for you that your miracle girl is here and safe and making her way in the world. (((Hugs))) to you both!

ShielaLee said...

Awwwww - time sure is flying, isn't it?

She's simply beautiful!

Teri said...

She's a lucky girl. So nice that you have captured your love and anticipation with Nora. She'll never doubt.

Audrey said...

Awww you have me crying too! Birth, babies, such a miracle.


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