I Can Hardly Wait to Be Old

Part of me just looks forward to the day when I've seen enough that I can just be like Gram -- like someone who's lived on an island in the Caribbean, and there's just a "Don't worry. Be happy." vibe to everything I do.

Something surprised me today. Not "shocked out of my mind surprised", but it just sort of took me off guard. I was part of a conversation that I thought was funny. I was flip about something, and before I knew it, I was told I was being "presumptuous."

Now I don't really care about what was said. It was a small blip. But what surprised me was how one little tiny conversation could be blown out of proportion, and how quickly I got sucked into having to defend my words. We all presume. Any time we tell someone they're being presumptuous, we'll find that we are in fact, guilty of the same thing. I haven't found an exception to that rule yet.

I love writing. I love the fact that I have a wit, even if I'm not always witty. By that I enjoy using my words, and if I can be funny at the same time, that's a bonus. I blog because it's better than keeping a journal. My mind works faster than my hands, and my bad penmanship doesn't come into play. Plus, the computer has spellcheck.

But sometimes my smart mouth comes out through my fingers, and people misunderstand me. The downside of the written word is that you have to be good enough at it to try and capture nuances that would normally be picked up in the spoken word as "tone."

I remember one of my grandmas -- Grandma P. -- who more than once said "oh honey, that's nothing to get excited about."

Gram had been around the block a few times. That happens, even if you live a relatively sheltered life, if you live to be 93 like she did. Sooner or later you have to leave the house to go to the grocery store, and there's always an adventure if you leave the house.

I find as I get older I get less worked up about things. I don't care so much about whether I'm right, so much as I care about being able to express my thoughts -- and I'm more than happy to hear others'. I'm genuinely interested in asking people about their opinions, but the most important part isn't the opinion -- it's the reasoning behind it. Sometimes people's views are skewed by their geography, upbringing, or simple personality. I know I have my set of bizarre circumstances that all knit together to become my life and my personality, what are yours?

I don't really think I want to get old. There's a part of me that looks forward to the next conversation that challenges me, or the next opinion that makes me wonder and really think "how did they get to the point where they think THAT is ok/normal/moral?".

No, I don't really mean that I want to get old and say I've seen it all. I suppose the day I've seen it all will be the day I die. But it would be cool to be so knowing, so experienced, that I can wave something off and not look like a snob, but like an old lady who like my Gram, had seen it before, and just wasn't going to get that worked up about it.