Seattle Times

I wish I had more time to blog, but I just don't...I WILL try to keep up with the holiday season a bit, as I will have some time off of school, including this Thanksgiving break.


We spent Thanksgiving itself at my sister's house nearby, and today we went up to Seattle to meet up with Oma and Opa and see the Christmas/Winterfest parade, and do a little shopping.



I wouldn't have gone into ANY retail store for myself today, except for some reason, the hat I SWORE I put on Nora's head last night couldn't be found this morning, so following the parade, we went into Old Navy near Nordstrom, and waited in line to get IN to the store as well as out!
But we did get a good hat for Nora (and a vest and a couple of new fleece shirts).
But the most fun by far was all the street musicians Nora ran into, from a 10 or 11-year-old girl playing her violin on the street at First & Pike (near the Pike Place Market) to the "band" Nora was invited to sit in on with a guy at 5th & Pine near Nordy's.

Nora was SO enthralled with playing with the guy that she went back and said "I want to play in the band again."


She got drumsticks in her hands and she was off and running again. Too cute!

Afterwards we had lunch at Pike Place Market before heading home for the evening. What a fun day in the city!

My Pride & Joy

My little girl does nothing but brighten my day, every day.

While a lot of people like to point at her as my miracle (and she most certainly is), I think having a loss after her has been especially difficult to take in, in part because I now know better than ever exactly what I'm missing when I don't get to have another baby.

Nora's doing so great in school -- We hear often from the teachers that she is a bright spot in their day, is kind and fun and thoroughly enjoys the other kids.

I can tell just by her quantum leaps in vocabulary and conversation that school has been great for her.

And then the funny little things she does:

While I was in the hospital yesterday, my friend Patti brought me a stuffed animal (an Obama Dog replica)and when she saw it on the dining room table this morning, she snapped it up and headed on down the hall towards her bedroom with it.

I hollered after her "The dog's name is BO!" and without slowing down or missing a beat, she turned the dog towards her and said "Hi, Bo!"

And now he's sleeping in her room, the new favorite toy.

Last & Final

It's been a pretty hard week or so.

I found out just before school started this fall that I was pregnant. It was a BIG surprise, needless to say, as we'd long given up on the prospect of anymore children.

Poor Brian walked into the bathroom to put some towels away only to find me standing there with my mouth literally hanging open and my hand trembling and holding a positive pregnancy test.

So yeah, SURPRISE! It took us a little bit, but before the end of the day we were both at least thinking that this could go well and we could add another room to the house by finishing the garage or something...and I got into the doc that Monday morning and started heparin and just a few weeks later, we had a heartbeat.

I didn't blog about it or put it on Facebook initially. We even waited to tell most family and friends until we saw a heartbeat, but the baby's growth was slow and apparently getting slower, so when I should have been 10 weeks, the baby's heartbeat was gone, and s/he was only measuring 7 weeks 3 days.

And so another ending to yet another pregnancy.

I'm well over 40. Our daughter is 3...and while we'd love to get her a sibling, we've come to the determination that we're done trying to do that biologically. Maybe after nursing school we can consider adoption, maybe we'll just be ok with the one we have. One is, after all, a miracle for us, and I certainly love the prospect of the simplicity of one.

So I had to go in to the hospital for surgery yesterday because I didn't naturally miscarry on my own...and while the doc was in the area, I had her tie my tubes.

Well, they don't tie them anymore...they use lasers and laproscopic surgery, so in all, it wasn't that painful.

But I digress.

So my little one who's joining all the other ones will be my last and final pregnancy.

I'm ok with that -- more than ok -- even relieved.

Moving on to another phase of life isn't always easy, and maybe there will be days when I grieve it more. But after so many disasters, I don't care to live through anymore.

Movin' on...