I requested a video called "Finding Forever Families" from the Dave Thomas Foundation (Dave Thomas was the owner/founder of the Wendy's hamburger chain, who was an adoptee, & started the foundation to promote adoption, particularly Foster-Adopt). I also got a small packet from Lutheran Family Services about infant adoption.
The video hit me the most. I tried to watch it on my DVD player on the computer so I could preview it before Brian saw it. Then, he's watching TV and says "WHATCHA DOIN?" so I told him, and we sat down and watched it together. It's aimed more at Social Workers to help them find ways to match foster kids with parents, so it wasn't a big pressure pitch to parents to adopt. But it was cool to see a bunch of kids and adults who were adopted and/or out of the system to see how they felt and thought about adoption. Not all of it was "rainbows and butterflies", but it was very moving.
The other packet was just the basic info for adoption for Lutheran Family Services, the agency we'll probably go through since they're so close by and very good in our community -- and they do both adoption and foster care services.
The thing the blew me away was how open I feel about adopting an older child -- even a MUCH older child than I was thinking of before.
Before, I was thinking "I don't NEED a baby...it'd be nice for all the reasons most people think of -- not having to deal with the same attachment problems & stuff that come with an older child and their baggage from neglect abandonment or abuse, etc.
But I started seeing these kids that are 10 and 12 years old who are still looking for real parents to be there for them, and I keep thinking "I could do THAT."
So, we'll see what Brian and I are up for and go from there. But for now, I just feel like I don't care what age or color the kid is...it just would feel so GOOD to give a kid a home who wants one with us, and their age, etc. shouldn't matter that much.
Tonight I feel like I have at all major turning points in my life...like I'm taking a leap of faith that's both scary and exhilarating at the same time.
Much to think about.