Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Seeing Yourself As The Miracle That You Are



These are Jacob's feet. The little guy had little tiny feet, about the size of the end of my pinky fingers to the first knuckle.

This picture was taken by one of the nurses at the hospital. I doctored it on my computer to be more of a sketch drawing. I've enjoyed spending time working on Jacob's pictures. Some are too difficult for most people to see, but what I see is the miracle that is my boy.

When I spend time on various internet sites -- support groups and information sites that tell me more about Trisomy 18, I'm learning so much about Jacob's problems that it amazes me that he made it for as long as he did.

Boys do not survive as long as girls. In reading the boards for those who are deciding to try and carry their children to term, despite a Trisomy 18 diagnosis, all of those that I've read so far are expecting girls, and all of them have less serious problems (namely missing the major heart defect, known brain development problems and spina bifida -- all problems Jacob had.

When Jacob was born, he was half the size that he should have been for me being 5 months pregnant. I had just started my 6th month of pregnancy the week before, and you would have thought he was only about 16 weeks when he was born at 8 oz. and 8 3/4 inches long. Just think about how small that is.

As I consider the miracle that Jacob made it as long as he did, I am also struck by what a miracle I am -- and what a miracle each person on this planet is that lives to be born. All the things that have to go right to get us here, not to mention all the things our Mothers knowingly or unknowingly do to make us healthy children, all of it has to come together to make us who we are.

I hope each of you who read this take a moment to recognize that YOU are a miracle of life.

If you are blessed with children, please hug them extra tight tonight. Please speak softly to them, and please see them for the miracles that they are too.

Thanks.

4 comments:

Meg said...

Julie-

I have thanked God for the miracles of my boys at least once a day, especially since finding out that Jacob would not be living here on Earth. I have also really been struggling with loving myself more than I do in order to be a better mom and person--thanks for this post. I DO need to remember I'm a miracle

You are too!
Meg

Shana said...

What a beautiful picture of Jacob.

Thank you so much for the reminder of this amazing gift we all have of life. When we get caught up in the day-to-day it is all too easy to forget.

Katherine said...

Jacob was, and is, a miracle. I love the picture of his tiny feet. Thank you for reminding me of the miracle of life.

(((HUGS)))

Katherine said...

Jacob was, and is, a miracle. I love the picture of his tiny feet. Thank you for reminding me of the miracle of life.

(((HUGS)))

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